[Untitled]

To get away from you,
I head to the bathroom.
I think to myself, I am quirky,
as I look down at my matching socks and underpants,
both pink, like the bathroom floor.
Spots of anger flame on my cheeks
And I'm too stubborn to come crawling back this time
And I hope I don't do anything stupid
And I think, more and more, that I wouldn't love you if I had the choice
And I think, more and more
And I think, more and more
And I conclude that you're right.
You don't deserve me.

Resolute.

This year...
I'm going to be less of a slut.
In fact, I'm going to not be a slut at all. Score.
I'm going to be less of a douchebag and start treating others like they want
deserve
to be treated.
I'm done biting my fingernails. Starting right now.
I'm going to wear my retainer, dammit.
I'm also going to study and get better than B's.
Self-delusion is out the window.
The drama queen shit is also gone.
No more destroying what's good in my life just to have something happen.
Also, no more stupid risks.

[Poetry is truly the only way to express one's new year's resolutions.]

Slowly walking down the hall faster than a cannonball...

When I was in my Tyler phase, I began a poem about him; I've finished it, months later. It has no metre, no rhyme, no real rhythm, but it is in fact a poem.

Do you listen to Oasis? I don't, terribly much, but I do like this song. Aah, songs Sebhar heard in the nineties on the radio. This is their song Champagne Supernova.

How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange?
Where were you while we were getting high?
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you while we were getting high?

Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova in the sky

Wake up the dawn and ask her why
A dreamer dreams, she never dies
Wipe that tear away now from your eye
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you while we were getting high?

Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova

'Cuz we don't believe
That they're gonna get away from the summer
But you and I will never die
The world's still spinning around we don't know why
Why-why-why-why-i-i

How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange?
Where were you while we were getting high?
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you while we were getting high?
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky

Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova
'Cuz we don't believe
That they're gonna get away from the summer
But you and I will never die
The world's still spinning around we don't know why
Why-why-why-why-i-i

How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange?
Where were you while we were getting high?
We were getting high...

I'm in a very, very weird mood. Sort of tense. I think I might have a lot of pent-up aggression... maybe I should find a rug to beat out, eh?

Poem!

Watch the people herd by –
Cattle in uniform
Striped polo shirts accented by jeans
Blue, artfully torn by a
Twelve-year-old Chinese kid
In a sweatshop on the flipside of the world

Watch the people herd by –
Cattle in uniform
Ruffled miniskirts and alien hair
All perfect, straightened, ironed, crisp, yet
Faded and patched, either too tight or too loose
Too long or too short, never fitting just right.

Watch the people herd by –
Cattle in uniform
Not thinking for themselves; not thinking for others
In fact, not thinking at all
Content to succumb to mob psychologies instituted by… fear
Certainly not by the American errorists
Next time you cry, watch the people herd by
Humans in uniform fight no real wars.